Saturday, 7 November 2009


Richard was the first of my eight trusted friends to reply. Richard had always been more Will's friend than mine but Will generally had a good taste in people and he didn't often choose to befriends anyone who was likely to cause trouble. Nicole was of course, a great exception to this rule. Bitch. That was harsh, I you for having to read that...not her; bitch. So, Richard had started off as a friend of a friend but over the years I'd grown to really rely on him. He was one of the good guys. The sort of bloke who'd never get you drunk with any ulterior motives...apart from making you humiliate yourself in a dance contest...I really don't have the energy to get into that right now. Richard was full of silly quips and sweet words to make me smile whenever I'd gone and gotten myself upset over everything stupid that didn't really matter.

Wow, Caitlyn! That's great! Will is such a nice guy, you're lucky to have him with you. I'm sure he'll look after you when you get married (if you accept)!

Richard is a really busy guy so I was glad he'd found the time to reply somewhere in his busy schedule. He's a surgeon...he'd always joked about cutting people up when we were younger, I found that sinister but now he's saving people's lives. Get him. Nah, I'm not mocking, I'm just pleased for him. So, Richard's reply made little difference to the whirring in my mind but it was lovely to hear from him anyway. His reply supported the half of me yelling, "Say yes!!! Go on, what are you waiting for?! SAY YES." but that still wasn't enough to jump on the other part of me and silence that voice which wailed, "I'm not ready for any of this!"
Richard was always prompting me into making my own decisions in life and he still was now. All I really wanted was for someone to tell me what to say to Will.
It's childish but I'm 27 and I still don't feel ready to get married. Will wasn't even dating me. We've never dated. We always agreed that it'd be too weird, just too weird, or as our younger selves had said, "gross!" He'd forever been my best friend, not my boyfriend and now he wanted me for his wife. I don't think I've been this confused since double physics, Friday afternoons as secondary school. Yeah, Richard's reply's sweet but I'm no closer to reaching my EUREKA moment just yet.

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