LIFE'S FADING FROM MY EYES seven

The next responce to my plee for help via email came from one Miss Sweet Caroline. Cazz. Cazzamatrazz. Cazzaline. She went by many name's when we were a little younger but it doesn't really make a difference. A rose by any name would smell as sweet after all. She's one of the most insecure people I've ever known but she's forever looking mighty fine. She's still got low self esteem even though she's married. Surely that lovely husband of hers wouldn't have proposed to her if he wasn't mad about her. They've been married for about three years now and before they wed they dated for...nine years I think. He's a really lovely guy and she deserves him since she's a really lovely girl. I wouldn't want anything but the best for her. She's stood by me for some of my darkest and most sleep-reducing times. Now was no different



Wait....Will's proposed to YOU or to Nicole....?If it's you then you'd bloody say yes. But if it's to Nicole...then there's nothing you can do.Just wait until their relationship deteriorates. It'll happen.Nicole's a bitch, and Will will know it.Will's a smart guy, right?xxx



Hang on...did my email really give the impression that he'd proposed to Nicole? Was I drunk at the time I wrote it?! No. Surely not. You can't get drunk off of just one, one bottle of wine, can you? Okay...so I may have been very, slightly tipsy but I'm not some sad, "cue violins" kind of case, inebriating herself to escape real life. I'm a social drinker. I was sharing a couple of glasses of wine with the inhabitants of Albert Square. Nothing wrong with that.

See, since Will had hired Nicole as a secretary at his new law firm I'd just assumed that he had been interested in her again, just as he had been when we were younger. Caroline must have thought the same. I hadn't spoken to Will properly since he'd set up his new firm. Tired of picking up the slack at other firms; holding them together, he thought he'd try his luck for himself and make his own job. Worked well for him. It took a lot of money though. Near on all of his savings were sunk into just setting up so he had to make it work. I guess that when you know how important something like that is, it's not too hard to motivate yourself into spending many hours working at it. Still, I had meant that once again, communication between us had shrunk to an occasional email, a hurried phone conversation and a scribbled out christmas card. The last thing in the world I expected from Will had been a proposal. Fate likes smacking you like that sometimes though...maybe she just wanted me to wake up for a sec. I don't know. There's a lot that I don't know. Will always had the answers, he knew a lot...about a LOT. Whenver I didn't get a word in English; he knew the meaning. When I didn't understand the terms of treaties and such in history, he always had the time to explain them to me. Caroline's right, Will is a smart guy, but is she right about me saying "yes" too? She's as sure as I want to be and I am mad about Will...maybe I always have been but something doesn't feel quite right. This is all so sudden.