I haven't slept properly in about a week. I awake at 5.34 *or thereabouts* every morning and, convinced that i'm about to throw up, rush into the bathroom. I cat-nap until it's time to get up; scrolling nonsense into old books and skim-reading pages i've read a thousand times before. I can barely eat and my head won't stop spinning. this is odd. i cough a little but my throat doesn't hurt. sometimes it hurts to breathe; like pressure around my chest and back. i just feel really weak and tired.
but asides from the physical rubbish, i'm feeling pretty good, you know? as long as i don't spend too long thinking about the same one thing for too long, i'm alright. so i plug myself into my iPod and turn it so loudly that I can't hear the screaming in my head. it's a bit odd when it's something peacefullike jack johnson as opposed to something intended to be played lously like Nickelback. ah well. At least i don't have too much homework this weekend, I'll get time to finish my book and drown into anotherand I think i should be able to finish painting the blue elephant at last. 11 shades of blue so far...i think. i was singing along to some random songs yesterday so I can't really remember where I got up to. Ange says that the elephant's eyes are funny. funny how? they make me laugh, that's how. hmmmmmmmmm. not appreciated.
People keep saying that my hair looks different. I cut about 4" off about a week ago and i've taken to putting it back with an alice band to keep my gosh darned fringe *which refuses to grow* off of my face. I can't see through my left eye properly which makes reading in english hellish when i've my fringe down. lame. like a llama. except llamas aren't lame. apart fromt those which technically are. of course, geez. btw, geez is not a blasphemous term. I thought for a while that it was shortened from Jesus and was in the same league as using God's name in vain. and whilst I'm not christian, I'm also not in a position that I feel the need to insult those who are. anyways, geez is shortened from Gee-whizz. so there. xD
I'm in the library and someone little's looking over my shoulder, aw, she's a sweet kid...maybe 4 or 5...aw. i prefer to type her cuz the adults section upstairs is far too quiet.
Good morning son, i am a bird, wearing a brown polyester shirt. you want a coke? maybe some fries? the roast beef combo's only $9.95. it's okay, you don't have to pay, i got all the change. everybody knows it hurts to grow up. and everybody does. it's so weird to be back her. let me tell you what. the years go on and we're still fighting it. we're still fighting it. we're still fighting it. and you're so much like me. i'm sorry.
^love that song!! Ben folds "still fighting it" i love him actually, really talanted. listen to "jesusland" by him. awesome.
anyways, my hands are getting cold, i reckon i'm a get going now.
another great song
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