one stupid promise and now i'm here.

i don't want to do this. but a promise is a promise.
oh joy. oh rapture.
derelict days.
dust and a gust and smoke in my eyes, burn me up, let go of my thighs and stop holding tight there's rain no sun, might as well be night. blacken. blackening. blackened. beguile me, see if there's a difference. bewilder and stun and startle and no change will be made visible. it's not ok but it's not the end so that makes it better? and where were you? i needed you and i didn't know where to look. I saw the light but it was grey. I felt the path but lost my way. the maps are torn and tearing me too. there's no where to turn so what should i do?do you have any answers?does my asking make a difference?can you hear me?i can barely hear myself.

some times i just want to leap but i won't. a promise is a promise. tomorrow has to be better. it's a tuesday. everyone knows that tuesdays are better than mondays so tomorrow will have to be better. i think. well, i hope.